


Hashire!

by FiftyShadesOfKillua



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Animals, Assassin Killua Zoldyck, Brotherly Gon Freecs, Brotherly Killua, Bullying, Cats, Crying Killua Zoldyck, Determined Gon Freecs, Embarrassed Killua Zoldyck, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Greenie Gon, How Do I Tag, Mystery, Neko!Killua, Noko is the little sis, Oblivious Gon Freecs, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possessive Gon Freecs, Protective Gon Freecs, Protective Killua Zoldyck, cat killua, do not copy to another site, gon wants to, killua needs help, strong nose
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26092036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiftyShadesOfKillua/pseuds/FiftyShadesOfKillua
Summary: Being a Neko isn't the easiest thing in the world, especially when you try to hide it from your best friend, but, life's like that. It makes sure to toss you into the nearest hardship whilst screaming CAN'T MAKE IT CAN'T LIVE IT as it watches you struggle. Or so Killua thought, until he makes a friend, and suddenly it's so much easier.Killua hadn't expected his life to become brighter out of the blue. Even if he did manage to escape, no one would want to take in someone like him, right?Right??Then why was the literal incarnate of sunshine feeding him sushi and offering him his bed?
Relationships: Alluka Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Nanika & Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 21
Kudos: 109





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome, welcome! This is something ive written a while ago as a gonkillu story, but after a bunch of things happened, i had to delete it T-T  
> im re-writing this as just a very strong friendship, but if you interpret it as otherwise... then whatever xD  
> if you've read the first version b4, you will notice BIG changes in the writing and, like, just the plot in general since i wont be including much romance sadly  
> I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!  
> (p.s. ill add tags as i go)

White and electric blue flashed past. 

“SHUT UP!” blue eyes darted back, catching a glimpse of long black. They looked back forward.

“It's pointless, Killu. You know I’ll always find you.” Pale skin, drenched in sweat, shivered. Black eyes bore themselves into the disappearing silhouette. 

“You can’t run away from fate.”

 _Yes I can, I_ will _, Aniki._

**~*~**

Killua jumped aboard the boat. He was panting, hands on his knees, still sweating. His eyes were slits, seemingly _glowing_ in the moonlight. With his face paler than usual, he trudged forward into the storage room on the boat headed anywhere but Padeoka. He pulled his beanie he stuffed in his sweater pocket in a rush, and pulled it over his hair. He sighed. 

After a while, his thoughts drifted into a dark place he wished he never had.

_His footsteps echoed through the empty tunnel. He could hear the little girls whimpering. “ALLUKA, I’M COMING!” He started running on all fours once he heard a loud thud, sharp ears picking up on the rustling of clothes with it. “ALLUKA!” He grit his teeth._

_Bursting through the doors, he took a second to process the sight before him. “Alluka…”_

_She lay in a cold heap, pale skin now a sickly blue. He tried to contain the sobs he knew were coming. Silent tears ran down his face. His eyes became slits, hair standing on end, he began_ hissing _at the tall man with hair cut short. His little figure bristled at the dark look he was given. The six year old chose to look back at his younger sister, cradling her cold body in his arms carefully, patting her head and pressing a loving kiss to her forehead._

_“This was your own fault, Killu. You were getting distracted.”_

_Killua stayed silent. He was now rocking back and forth, just waiting for Illumi to leave the room. His brother gave him one last look then walked out of the room, deciding to leave Killua this one chance to mourn. He knew how much his younger brother treasured the_ thing _._

_The doors shut, much slower and quieter footsteps echoed through the tunnel this time._

_He sobbed._

_The slits widened into something less feral, something sad and hurt, like a kicked puppy asking for help. He buried his face into the little girls neck, where he once could feel her pulse, smell her reassuring scent, but now all he could feel was unusually cold skin and a scent that wasn’t his sisters. He cried harder._

_“A-Alluka, I…” He paused._

Nanika _. Nanika might still be there._

_“...Nanika, will you come out?”_

_Silence._

_Cold skin grew much colder, a dark aura encircling the body for a couple of seconds before receding._

_Sad black eyes opened. A mouth that looked very much like a child's drawing started wobbling, clear blobs of water that were clearly tears streamed down the ghostly face. A broken voice rang in the room._

_“Ai.”_


	2. New Friend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey! I wont have a set update schedule (especially since school is really close to starting and i STILL did not read the second book or do my book report so haha...) but well i felt very excited and literally. JUST. wrote this like, right now. started the second i woke up im HYPED UGVYSDDF  
> i hope you enjoy!  
> p.s. gon's nose is its own character, i swear.

Gon lay peacefully in his bed. The wind whistled through his open window, carrying familiar scents and new ones into the room, but at that moment, it seemed as if nothing could wake the boy.

Something woke the boy.

People always commented on his sense of smell, would always ask him if something went bad or had something unhealthy in it; his nose was something useful. _Even_ in his sleep.

He caught a new scent in his backyard, one that smelled very much like sweat and something else. _Many something elses,_ he thought. Gon stretched, squinted his eyes at the moonlight, and rubbed his nose to try and catch the other scents.

One thing he instantly caught was the smell of fear. It wasn’t something he could easily pick up on, but whoever it was (he now confirmed it was a living thing) was _very_ scared. Another scent, much more faint, was something akin to happiness. He frowned. _No that's not it._

He took in a deep breath.

Okay, yea. They smell relieved. 

Gon took quiet steps towards his window, peeking outside through it and quickly scanning the open space, besides for a huge tree he loved to climb. At first, he didn’t see anything, but then he saw something shockingly _white_ skinned walking up towards the tree. Gon’s first thought was to help this… boy, it seems, but didn’t want to startle him by just jumping out of the window.

He watched closely as the silver haired boy glanced around. The fear, Gon noted, receded a bit and was replaced with excitement. The boy climbed up the tree. Gon was confused. How did he climb up without using any of the small ledges, any of the branches? It seemed as if he were a cat, scaling the tree with such ease and elegance. The boy suddenly grasped onto a branch and, on all fours, easily trotted over the huge branch. When he reached the middle, the boy caught a glimpse of Gon and froze, now staring wide-eyed at him.

The fear came rolling back in waves, and Gon didn’t like that.

“Hello!” he whispered, trying his best to come off as friendly as possible. “I’m Gon!” _Don’t ask for names, if he feels like responding he will_.

The boy just stared.

For a _long_ time.

Gon kept smiling.

The fear was still there, but almost half of it was replaced by shock and confusion and curiosity. 

“I… um…” He looked contemplative. “I’m… Killua.” Gon beamed.

“Hey Killua! I’m Gon!” Killua relaxed.

“You already said that, idiot.” Gon caught the small smile from the distance, and took that as his chance. 

“Hey, hey Killua? Can I come closer to Killua?” Killua tensed again.

“No.” Gon deflated, but instantly grinned again. 

“Okay! Well then, let's talk about ourselves! What’s Killuas favorite food?”

Killua didn’t waste a second when he said, “Chocolate. Chocolate and… sushi, actually.” he smiled to himself at that.

“Wow! I like fish in general, but since this is a fisher’s island we have a lot of sushi, it tastes really good!” Killua looked elated at that thought.

“What… what about chocolate?”

“It's a little more expensive here than other places, I think. Aunt Mito tells me that the climate here is way too hot to grow them here, so chocolate is more of a dele… dela… delisacy!”

“Delicacy?” Killua laughed.

“Yea, that! Killua’s so smart!” Killua sputtered.

“Don’t say that so loudly! It’s embarrassing…”

Gon smiled, but yawned loudly and rubbed at his eyes. The wind blew, and Gon caught Killua’s full-body shiver. 

“Hey, Killua? Does Killua want to come inside? Its cold, I promise I’ll stay far away!”

Killua shook his head, instantly curling in on himself. Gon took that as his cue to be quiet.

Gon’s last thought was how much Killua resembled a cat.

**~*~**

_Gon is dreaming, watching as he’s sitting on his table, sighing at the normal sight of insults written on it with sharpie. Most of them revolve around the same thing; his nose._

Gon’s life wasn’t always so… dull? Empty? Friend-less? His Aunt constantly reminds him that his nose is a blessing, a gift from God, but he thinks otherwise. “It’s a gift from the devil,” he coldly responds after any attempt at comfort after a particularly long school day. 

You see, people don’t like the fact that Gon can smell emotions on people. The first time he finally convinced Mito to go to the small private school on his island, he was ecstatic.

He did not expect it to be a hell, of all things.

The first day of school was very eventful for him. He enjoyed it, and so was the rest of the week. But there was a problem.

There were bullies. They liked messing with a lot of the kids, and Gon instantly detected the wariness everyone felt near them. Neferpitou (Pitou), Menthuthuyoupi (Youpi), Shaiapouf (Pouf), and Meruem were notorious for their nasty behavior towards others. Some teachers caught on, but not enough as to be able to expel the students. 

Gon didn’t like this. And Gon is stubborn, everyone who knows him knows that.

The next week, when Pitou finally took the initiative to start up the year’s bullying, Gon cut in. They started poking fun at a girl two grades lower than Gon. She had orange hair woven into twin braids, wide, green eyes laced with fear. Noko was looking down at her feet, taking the insults about her hair quietly. 

“Hey! Can't you see how scared she is!” Gon walks up to them, cheeks puffed up, brows furrowed. They laughed and Youpi crouched down and put an arm around Noko’s shoulders. She jumped. Gon caught resentment in her scent, directed towards Youpi. 

Youpi smelled like he liked the challenge, but Gon couldn’t quite name it. He also smelled very confident.

“Why, we were just joking around, weren't we, Noko?” Gon didn’t even _need_ his nose to notice the threat behind it all. Noko smiled warily and nodded vigorously. Gon scowled.

“You’re so confident, aren't you,” he all but growled. If there was one thing Gon _despised_ , it was lying.

Many people, when thinking of Gon, would instantly think _dumb_ . He was _not_ dumb. He was very perceptive for his age, very _smart_ and thoughtful. He was just… naive, almost.

Youpi definitely thought he was both dumb and oblivious, and boy was he wrong.

The group left after a while, and Gon instantly walked up to Noko and asked if she was alright. She nodded, and once Gon confirmed that she really did feel better, he began walking away. Noko stopped him, and he caught the faint smell of worry from her.

‘G-Gon..? Uhm, you should, you know, um, be c-careful around them, they… they might get t-the whole school to think you are mean. Th-they are bad. They don’t like you.” She looked up at Gon.

Gon smiled and hugged Noko, and Noko wrapped her arms around his waist. He patted her head before pulling back, smiling, and saying, “Don’t you worry, Noko! I’ll be just fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like, since Gon is an only child (and noko too), they would have a very strong brother-sister relationship. i just like to think as Gon as an older brother for someone. and noko fits that really well x|  
> if you dont know who Noko is, heres a link to her on hunterpedia: https://hunterxhunter.fandom.com/wiki/Noko  
> join my discord server! https://discord.gg/aTDP9wW


	3. New Enemy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, oh my god. You don't know how ELATED you all make me with these KUDOS oh gosh  
> THANK YOU SO MUCH normally it would take, like, a MONTH for anything i write to get this much love ufvfygery  
> i hope you enjoy this chapter! its not as long as the previous one.

The boat rides weren’t comfortable, but Killua had dealt with worse. He couldn’t afford to fall asleep, though. Who knows what threats there would be. 

A part of Killua was fascinated. All these people, so careless, as if _he_ weren’t aboard, a killer, and assassin. And that didn’t mean there weren’t others who wouldn’t jump at the chance to steal or harm a lesser person, someone who was naive enough to think the world would always work in their favor.

Killua tried to suppress the rumbling in his stomach. _I’ve been through worse. You’ve been through worse, Killua Zoldyck._ Zoldyck _. Don't let a little hunger get to you. What would Ani-_

_Oh right._

He was _free._

**~*~**

Killua ran as fast as his hands and feet could possibly take him, far away from the third ship he had rode. His thoughts were still wandering around in dark places, even when he tried to focus on his current goal. He would _not_ think about this when he finally escaped.

Even if he knew Illumi would try to find him again.

He kept his eyes on the trail, pausing to make sure his contacts were in his pocket. Once he made sure they were, he looked around to see a cozy house on the top of a hill, a huge tree looming behind it. _Looks like I found somewhere to stay for the night._ He walked up the hill silently, cautiously, trying to slow his pounding heart. He was terrified, you see. His whole life revolved around the fact that if anyone found out that he was a Neko, he would be beaten in even worse ways than his family could ever want to do to him. They would _rape_ him, torture him to _death_. Not even his family wanted him dead.

Killua looked around for any possible threats. He could only hope Illumi was not on his trail right now, or even worse, watching him at this very moment. He shook that thought out of his head. It’s been a week, he had been sure to take many detours properly and board ships only to get off and ride the one next to it. He was _determined_ to stay free.

Killua climbed the tree, planning on sleeping on one of the branches covered by leaves to somewhat conceal his presence. Even he needed sleep. 

Just as he was about to get some shut-eye, he heard a chipper voice beside him, his ear easily picking up on the drowsiness. 

“Hello! I’m Gon!” Killua froze. He starts to panic as he turns his head to the left. What to do? He had been seen. He’s going to get rape- but wait, it’s just a boy. His age, he notices. 

But it all could just be a facade, right? He could be with Illumi, who says there aren't other kids like him!

He stared at Gon. Gon stared back, smiling widely despite the fact that his eyes were a little red from lack of sleep. Killua decided that if he was going to live here for a while, he would need some acquaintances… _Not friends. I can’t… I won’t…_

“I… um…” Killua hesitated, thinking about giving a fake name, but just decided to go with it. “I’m… Killua.”

The boy’s face glowed unlike Killua had ever seen, ever seen directed towards _him_.

“Hey Killua! I’m Gon!” Killua visibly relaxed. This boy seemed friendly enough. Surely, he wouldn’t be plotting anything, right?

The little voice in Killua seeped in whispers he tried to ignore.

He decided to start with something simple.

“You already said that, idiot.” 

Ok… not so simple. But he smiled nonetheless. This was the closest thing he’d ever get to making a friend. _Because I don’t deserve any-_

“Hey, hey Killua?” Killua was thankful for the interruption. “Can I come closer to Killua?”

_Definitely not. He's a threat. He's with Illumi. He-_

_Just say no-_

“No.” The sunshine boy, 

_shut up-_

deflated, but grinned again to Killua's relief. 

“Okay! Well then, let's talk about ourselves!” _Anything but me, I’ll only scare you away, I’ll only disgust-_ “What’s Killuas favorite food?”

Oh.

 _Oh._ That's what he meant.

He could handle this.

“Chocolate.” Killua said instantly, then paused again, fish coming to mind. “Chocolate and… sushi, actually.” He smiled at the thought of chocolate and sushi.

He missed the taste.

“Wow! I like fish in general, but since this is a fisher’s island we have a lot of sushi, it tastes really good!”

No. Fucking. Way. _I haven’t had sushi since…_ that _time…_

He wouldn’t think about her now. Not when he was this excited.

“What… what about chocolate?”

“It's a little more expensive here than other places, I think. Aunt Mito tells me that the climate here is way too hot to grow them here, so chocolate is more of a dele… dela… delisacy!”

Killua smiled, Gon was funny. 

“Delicacy?” He felt like squinting when Gon looked at him as if he were the all-knowing chocolate and sushi lover. He laughed inwardly at that thought.

“Yea, that! Killua’s so smart!” Killua sputtered. Gon was stupidly embarrassing, he concluded. 

“Don’t say that so loudly! It’s embarrassing…”

Killua watched as Gon yawned. _That's right, it's night, I woke him up._ Killua felt a little pang in his heart, knowing he couldn't speak to his fr- _acquaintance, right._ The wind blew, reminding Killua just how sensitive he was to the cold. 

Sucks being a cat sometimes.

“Hey, Killua?” Killua perked. “Does Killua want to come inside? It's cold, I promise I’ll stay far away!”

Oh _hell_ no. I’m not getting near this kid, he's obviously with Illumi.

 _...Or he's just being nice,_ a little part of Killua whispered.

He ignored it. Couldn’t take his chances, after all. Too risky. Everything was too risky. Being here, right now, was the stupidest and riskiest thing he had ever done.

But… he can’t bring himself to regret it.

So, Killua just shook his head, curled up in himself to try to stay as warm as possible, and faked going to sleep. He couldn’t sleep with this guy too close. He couldn’t move somewhere else, either, or the boy might force him down if he really _was_ with Illumi.

That night, he realized just how full of life the world was.

Too bad it was just him against it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, just, i cant thank you enough for the kudos your making my whole MONTH just (*´▽｀*）
> 
> Join my discord [here](https://discord.gg/aTDP9wW)!


	4. Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just finished writing this! I hope you enjoy it :D  
> my thanks to elliot27 !! you really made me happy with the comment jidjuyhds

Gon woke up to the sound of crying.

He scurried out of bed, intent on making sure it wasn’t Killua. He looked out his window to see Killua shaking, sobs wracking his body. Gon’s eyes widened, before softening them and quietly calling out to Killua, exactly like he would as if he were talking to a wounded animal. 

“Killua..?”

Killua didn’t tense, he didn’t even turn towards him, but Gon knew he got his attention from the way he curled into himself even more.

“Killua… Does Killua want anything?” Asking if he was okay was stupid, Gon thought. Of course he wasn’t.

Killua sniffled. He was surprised. This time he turned to Gon, his wide brown eyes looked a little weird to Gon. Killua sat on his butt, instead of curling up against the tree trunk, and softly wiped away his own tears. He looked down at his lap, fiddling around with his shirt, and said, “Um… Do… Can I…” Killua hesitated, he didn’t think Gon would give him food, but Gon’s look encouraged him. “Can I have some food?”

“Yea! Of course. Should I bring it outside?” Killua nodded eagerly. As he watched Gon walk out of his line of sight, a little smile grew on his lips, a blush from both excitement and happiness. 

Gon was stupidly embarrassing, but also stupidly kind and thoughtful… 

When Gon came back with a fresh plate of sushi about 45 minutes later, Killua _squealed_. He quickly slapped his hand over his mouth, but that did nothing to stop his eyes from glimmering. Gon looked at Killua when he bashfully turned his face away, but his eyes stayed glued on the plate. Gon giggled. 

He crouched down, putting the plate down right next to the tree and looked back up. He shouted, “Does Killua want soy sauce?” Killua nodded. 

He was surprised, Gon remembered his favorite food, even though he was practically sleeping while they were talking last night. Gon came back with the soy sauce, and backed up to the chair that was right besides the back door. Killua swiftly jumped down from the branch he was sitting on, which shocked Gon. Not even _he_ could do that. But when Killua landed on all fours and stood up as if it were nothing, Gon remembered how Killua had many cat-like behaviours. 

Last night, he had watched Killua climb the tree as if he had claws. He also seemed very fond of sushi, _fish_ , he re-thought, as he watched Killua remove most of the rice from the nigiri. And how Killua curled in on himself, the only thing he needed was a tail to wrap around himself and the picture would have been complete. And since cats are really sensitive to the cold, he had remembered how Killua also shivered even though it was only spring. Plus, he was wearing a jacket and long, warm-looking pants. 

And now, he just jumped down, from a branch _14 meters high_ as if it were nothing. Nothing! He stared at Killua in awe. 

Gon saw Killua yawn, even if his back was facing him. Killua turned towards Gon, a shy look in his face. He glanced up at Gon, then back at the now empty place (besides the wasabi). He worried at his lip, then asked, “Can I… can…” he looked like he was both frustrated and contemplative. “Can I s-sleep in… in your h-home?” Gon tilted his head in a confused matter.

“Did… did Killua not sleep well? Was it because of the cold?”

Killua’s eyes widened. “Uh, Y-yea. It was too cold…” Gon smiled.

“Okay! Since I’m going to school anyway, it will just be you and my Aunt Mito, if you don’t mind. Killua just shrugged.

A woman with auburn hair poked her head through the back door, eyes wide like Gons, and smiled sweetly at Killua, then looked at Gon with a reprimanding look. “Gon! You’ll be late for school if you don’t hurry up!” Gon groaned.

“I _know_ , I was just getting to that!”

“Killua? That’s your name, right sweetie?” Mito turned to Killua with a kind smile, and Killua nodded slowly.

“Killua didn’t get much sleep, so Killua’s going to sleep in my bed for a while!” Mito just nodded and stepped aside to let Gon walk into the house. 

“Come on in, Killua. I could show you around the house.” Killua scanned the place around him quickly for anything suspicious looking, then stood up and took the plates with him slowly. On his way in, Mito ruffled his hair and patted his head, and he instantly melted into the touch, only to jolt back. Mito laughed.

Gon came shortly after with a bag on one shoulder. He waved at Killua then gave Mito a quick kiss on the cheek, and Mito gave him a hug. She looked at Gon seriously and said, “Gon… Be careful, ok?” Gon left with a less genuine smile, and just nodded. Mito continued, “I could just homeschool you again…” Gon shook his head.

“Noko will get bullied again if I leave. I’m staying.” He looked down at his shoes, then, with eyes a little dull, walked out of the house towards the long road.

Mito looked troubled. Killua was curious. Who was Noko? Who was bullying this person? He watched as Mito turned to Killua with a forced smile. 

“So! Do you want to go straight to bed, or would you like a tour of the house first?”

**~*~**

When Gon came back home, the first thing Killua saw was a black eye. “Gon!” Mito came seemingly out of nowhere, rushing to grab her nephews face gently. She rubbed his cheek and gave him a loving kiss on the forehead before rushing upstairs towards her room. Killua stood there, eyes wide, staring at Gon. Gon’s eyes were cast downward, his left eye swelling, and his body quivering lightly. Killua slowly opened his mouth to ask what had happened, but Mito came down with a first-aid kit and grabbed Gon’s face again. “Oh Gon…”

“I’m fine,” he mumbled quietly, wincing as Mito added some sort of cream to his eye.

“This is going to hurt for a bit Gon, bear with it?” He gave a small hum. 

“What… Can I, uh, ask what happened?” Killua glanced at Gon then Mito, and Mito opened her mouth to reply, but Gon cut her off.

“I’ll tell you later.” Mito sighed. She gave Gon a soft look. If he saw it, he didn’t react.

Killua walked to the living room and sat down on the couch, playing with his shirt and hair, nervous for two reasons. One, even before Gon had left for school, he looked sad, Mito looked worried. When Gon came back, he came back _hurt_.

Two, Killua was still worried about Illumi. His caution around this family receded a bit, he decided they were not a threat, but that didn’t mean someone else on this island could be watching him, he had felt some sort of weird presence watching him ever since he left his mansion. It felt, just a little…

Familiar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :0 who could be watching Killua!?!  
> Thats something for later LOL  
> anyways, any feedback or kudos is appreciated ♡´･ᴗ･`♡
> 
> Join my [discord server](https://discord.gg/aTDP9wW)!


	5. Warmth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy~ This chapter is a bit longer than usual to make up for the long wait ♡´･ᴗ･`♡  
> i hope you enjoy ♡

Two weeks passed, and Killua finally decided he wanted to do something stupid.

“Miss Mito, I want to go to school with Gon.”

Mito’s eyes widened considerably. She looked as if she were in deep thought for a while, brows furrowed similarly to when Gon thought, then glanced in the direction of said boy’s room. She smiled reluctantly.

“Well, I don’t see the problem, but… You do realize…”

“I… I want to find out what's bothering Gon. If he, if the both of you wont tell me on your own, then I’ll just find out for myself.” Mito looked to the side, obviously pondering on what Killua had just told her. She sighed really loudly, then stood up straight and put her hands on her hips.

“I would like you to help Gon with the problem, since I can’t just go storming into the school myself, even if I should be able to, with what's happening.” She frowned. Maybe… think of it as a little chore.” Killua nodded. 

Just then, Gon came thumping loudly down the staircase. 

“Hey, aunt Mito, when's dinner? Are you maki-” Gon looked between the two of them. “Uh, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Gon, sweetie, Killua just wanted to ask if we could all bake a cake together, and I've already gotten dinner ready. I just need you to help me set up dinner then we’ll bake the cake.”

“Okay!” Gon grinned and began setting up the table while Killua looked at Mito with a confused smile. She gave him a look that said  _ later _ .

They baked a marble cake, and Killua found the last part fascinating. He watched Mito take the rubber spatula and dip it into the cake batter before pulling it up and down, then doing the same thing but vertically. 

Mito handed the spatula and wooden spoon to Gon to lick, and took a clean spoon and gave Killua the bowl. Killua looked up at Mito, again, confused. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

Gon gave him a smile. “Lick the batter! It tastes really good,” Gon said as he licked the spatula with a content hum. Killua smiled, took the spoon and scraped up the left over batter. His eyes sparkled. 

Abe came downstairs from her nap, and the four of them ate dinner. Killua smiled at himself. 

_ I could get used to this. _

**~*~**

“Gon, Killua is going to go to school with you starting tomorrow.” Mito looked at Gon seriously, but Gon just stared back in shock. Then, for the first time since Killua came, Gon scowled. 

“No. He can’t.” Mito frowned.

“I've already registered him. You’re going to show him around the school tomorrow, okay?” Mito left no room for argument.

“...No. I’m not showing Killua around.” Killua felt a little offended. Did Gon think of him as annoying? 

“Gon!” Mito was angry now, but Gon only furrowed his eyebrows as he looked down at his bare feet.

“If they see Killua with me, they will hurt Killua too.” Mito was taken aback at this, and so was Killua. This time, Killua scowled. 

“I can take care of myself, Gon. They won’t do anything I can’t handle.” A couple of scenes with Illumi and Milluki flashed through his mind. 

“I don’t care! I won't let Killua get hurt because of me.” Gon pouted. “Killua can’t come to school with me.” Killua looked at Gon incredulously, and turned his head with a huff.

“It was my decision to go to school, anything you say won't change my mind.” Killua turned his head to catch Gon looking at him. “And, just so you know, I’m not going to leave you alone just because some bullies decided to pick on you.”

Gon stayed silent for a while. He looked up, a sour look on his face. Killua flinched back for a second, briefly reminded, once again, of Milluki’s condescending looks. He mentally reprimanded himself. “I’m guessing I don’t have a say in this… I’m still not happy with it.”

“You don’t have to be. Plus, I want to go to school instead of sitting here with nothing to do.” Gon nodded lightly, then walked up the steps. Killua made to follow, but Gon held out a hand to stop him.

“Can I have some time to myself, please…” Killua huffed. He grumbled, then turned to walk outside. He enjoyed it outside better than in the house. He still didn’t feel like he could relax just yet. Illumi hadn’t found him, he must be planning something.

Maybe the eyes he had felt on him had to do with it… 

The next day arrived after what seemed like ten, and Killua woke up on a mattress in the living room. He stretched, making sure he still had his beanie on, or that his tail hadn’t slipped out of its confines. Mito came in. 

“Killua? Can we talk?” Killua squinted his eyes, then nodded slowly, holding his hands on his lap. Mito sat on the couch next to him. “I know you said you were homeless, but, why are you really here? Your clothes weren’t tattered, you were clean, and it would have been impossible for you to have not been seen by either me or Gon on this island before. I just… I think I have a right to know, Killua.” Mito looked at Killua with a bit of annoyance, and Milluki was brought up  _ again _ .

Damn that piggy, Killua thought.

“I ran away,” he answered briefly. When Mito huffed, he turned his face away with a scowl. “I can’t tell you yet.” Even though Killua put on a face as if he didn’t care, he was a little frightened at the thought that Mito might kick him out. He had finally made a friend  **_he's mad at you-_ ** and he felt like someone loved him for once  **_she doesn’t want you-_ **

“Okay. You have to tell me sooner or later, though. I don’t want your parents to get worried and have to deal with any charges against me, you understand, don’t you, Killua?” 

Killua whipped his head around, and looked at Mito with wide eyes. Mito looked at Killua softly. She saw Killuas fear, you see. She doesn’t understand why he seemed so frightened, but she was reminded of how she felt towards Gon, and how, even as a baby, toddler, Gon was still terrified of abandonment.

She briefly wondered if that was what Killua went through, too, and if so, she wouldn't let him go.  _ Having another son wouldn’t be so bad. _

She smiled widely when Killua nodded silently, and considered hugging him. He wasn’t one for physical touch, something she learned in the week he was here, but the way he looked sadly down at his hands made her motherly instinct flow in crashing waves over her.

She carefully approached Killua, giving him a chance to push her away, and as she got closer she noticed his body shaking lightly. She feels a little pang in her heart, and engulfs Killua in a warm hug. She rubs his back soothingly when she feels her neck and shirt get wet.

Killua had never felt the warmth of a mother.

He didn’t even  _ know _ that it existed, all his life his parents only looked at him when he killed, when he was dark, when he was at his worst. His mothers ‘hugs’ weren't to comfort, but to grind his already broken bones into each other as punishment.

But now, in Mito’s arms, he suddenly  _ knew _ that it existed, that his mother wasn’t normal. As a child, he would look worriedly at a child being hugged by their mother, thinking they had done something wrong. He was confused at the looks of delight on their faces. What had been so delightful?

He cried. He didn’t know why, maybe it was just the relief of knowing his first glimpse of light would reject him because of the darkness that engulfed him. Maybe it was because he was still scared that it  _ would _ be taken away from him, because nothing good came and  _ stayed _ with someone like him. His brother had already proved that with Alluka.

So, instead of pushing away Mito in embarrassment, in confusion (he felt tingly, he wondered why? It felt good.), he closed his eyes, calmed himself down, and whispered a thank you.

Gon was confused.

Why was Killua crying? Gon slowly padded up the stairs again. Did Killua not want to go to school with him, after all? Sure, he was mad yesterday, was still aggravated  _ now _ , but Killua had said he wanted to go. Was Killua putting himself at risk for him?

...No, Gon decided. Killua wouldn’t cry because of that, wouldn’t be near Mito. Something had happened to Killua, and Gon wanted to find out. 

**~*~**

Gon got ready for school, wearing baggy green sweat-pants and a dark brown sweater. It was still spring, but the weather was getting colder as Autumn approached. Plus, the heavier he wore, the harder it was to get a bruise…

Killua walked into the room, wearing the newly-washed clothes he had come in. Gon smiled a little to himself. A warm spot opened in his heart. He recalled how Killua said he didn’t care if he was bullied. It still made him a bit mad, because Killua couldn’t just throw himself into his problems like that!

Gon grabbed Killua’s wrist, and he obediently followed. It had taken Killua a week to warm up in Gon’s small attempts at contact, but it made Gon happy nonetheless. Mito smiled as she handed them their lunch boxes. 

“Have a good day at school! Be careful, okay!!” Gon just nodded and Killua yelled back a confirmation before Gon dragged him out. Killua yanked his hand back lightly, not enough to slip out of Gon’s grip, but to get him to slow down.

“Hey- Gon, what's with the rush?” Gon smiled sheepishly.

“Well… the earlier I get there, the easier it will be to avoid that gang, so.” He looked down at his feet, then looked back up towards the road. He yanked on Killua's hand as he began to run, then let go of it. “Race you there!” Gon laughed joyously when looking back at Killua who had a comical scowl on his face.

“Idiot! I don’t know where the school is!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> join my [discord server](https://discord.gg/aTDP9wW)!! its practically empty but well, the more the merrier LOL  
> soooo idk what exactly im going to write for the next chapter, so that might take a while _chuckles nervously_ and since this is just something i mustered up over the days i wasnt posting i dont think im completely off the hiatus?? i already have a huge workload and im still not used to it _stares at arabic, math, science, english, quran, religion, and social studies homework i still didnt do_  
>  yea... anyways xD  
> i hope u enjoyed this chapter t-t


	6. Flashbacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HHH IM LATE IK IK but well, writers block and school are a thing, im sure yall understand u-u  
> Warnings for this chapter!! descriptions of abuse and aftermath of bullying, and angst smh  
> (idk how to warn people for the life of me)  
> ALSO I NEED HELP!! i like, dont know how to make insults. all my insults are lame IDKKK i cant think of anything t-t  
> i just, if anyone is willing, just like, gimme some insults that i could write cuz idk how to hhh  
> anyways, one more thing, i wanted to thank these two lovely people for commenting, they gave me the boost i needed to finish this chapter!
> 
> My ultimate thanks to [BasicallyKillua](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BasicallyKillua/pseuds/BasicallyKillua) and [Pins_and_Patches](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pins_and_Patches/pseuds/Pins_and_Patches)!! You two just, made me really happy with your comments, i swear.

_Killua hung in the air, suspended by metal chains that dug into the skin of his wrists. A heavy weight pulled down at his tail, a searing pain shooting through his lower back everytime the whip clashed against his skin. His brother's cackling resonated through the cell room._

_“This is what you get for being such a cocky brat!” The whip came down a couple of more times before Milluki paused, reaching into a nearby drawer to pull out a packet of something resembling clothespins, but were metal and spiky from the inside. Killua’s eyes widened, his already weakened ears painfully flattening against his hair. Milluki smirked._

_“Did mother even give co-”_

_“Shut up! Mama doesn’t need to know about this.” he glowered at Killua, then mumbled, “She would be proud of me.” Milluki approached, agitated, and Killua wished he hadn’t said anything. He tried to suppress his shaking when Milluki clasped the first pin harshly. He bit back a yelp when the pointed ends dug into his skin, and watched helplessly as Milluki added three more to each ear._

_The heavy metal door squeaking had Milluki tensing, something only someone with sharp eyes would notice. He turned with a little sweat dripping down from his greasy hair when he recognised Illumi’s presence. Illumi slowly looked at Killua, who was shaking, and then at Milluki. His eyes twitched, and he frowned._

_“Put him down,” was all Illumi said to get Milluki scrambling, unfastening the ball of weight around Killua’s tail, unclipping the clasps, then removing the cuffs. Killua fell to the ground, wiping the sweat from his forehead, then standing up shakily on his legs, glaring. He resisted the urge to rub at his back and tail._

_“I-Illu-ni-”_

_“I’m telling father about this. Killu, come with me.” Killua watched Milluki with a sneer, then limped a little before fixing his posture._

_30 minutes passed, and Killua now lay in his bed, on his stomach. His back hurt too much. He subconsciously rubbed at his ears. Illumi had told their father about what had happened, and Milluki was punished with all his figures being taken away for the month along with all of his computers except for his worst, oldest computer. Killua smirked at the thought._

_“Master Killua?” Killua recognised Canary’s voice and sighed._

_“Come in, Canary,” he watched softly as Canary opened the door carefully, nodded at him, then gestured outside._

_“Your mother wants you out for dinner, Master Ki-”_

_“Just Killua is fine,” Killua reminded with a hint of annoyance._ _  
_ _“I cannot, as one of the butlers. I apologise.” Killua grimaced._

_“I’m not coming down to dinner, I don’t want to see piggy right now. Mothers screeching would just make my ears ring again, anyway.” Killua watched happily as he caught Canary trying to suppress a laugh._

_“I will inform them of your absence.” She said with mirth, then left quietly._

_Once again, Killua was left alone to his own thoughts._

**~*~**

_Mito watched as Gon came in, the black eye she patched yesterday seemingly removed forcefully. Gon’s left eye was swollen shut. She suppressed tears._

_“Gon? Gon, sweetheart, please come here.” She opened her arms a little, pleading, and Gon hesitated upon his ascending up the steps._

_“I, I want just a little time alone, okay? I’ll come down in a bit.” Mito watched sadly as Gon walked with a little limp._

_She needed to contact the school. But, how could she, when the school wouldn’t listen to someone so poor? She grinded her teeth. She couldn’t force Gon out of school and homeschool him, she had already tried but he only ran off to the school building with a note saying he needed to watch Noko._

_Mito sighed. Gon was so kind. What did he do to deserve this? She quickly sent a little prayer to God asking for protection over her little boy, and sat on the couch. Abe came walking from her room a minute later._

_“Did Gon come back all battered up again?” Mito nodded. Abe made a small noise before settling down next to Mito. “He’s a strong boy, he’ll hold up,” Abe began, giving her granddaughter’s hand a little reassuring squeeze. “He has you to take care of him, doesn’t he?”_

_Mito smiled a little, eyes gazing up at the ceiling. “Yeah… I feel like Gon needs a friend his age though, I’m sure you know that. He needs someone he can talk to without me doting on him.” Mito wiped her exhausted eyes. “He needs someone else now too.” Abe chuckled._

_“You have a point, but, I see Gon’s expression when you care for him, and hug him. You still support him emotionally. Ah- here he comes now.”_

_Gon’s feet padded against the wooden stairs, and he peeked at Mito. “Um, Aunt Mito, you can clean my wounds now, I’m ready.” He gave a little smile before walking slowly up the stairs again to the bathroom._

_“...Sometimes, I feel like Gon doesn’t think he deserves love,” Mito said, glaring in the direction of the school. “I know I can blame this on Ging, that bastard. The school is just making it worse, too.” She stood up abruptly. She looked determined, a glint in her eyes that all Freecss had. “I’ll show him he’s worthy of it,” she smiled down at Abe, then walked up the stairs to follow Gon._

_Abe smiled._ I raised an amazing granddaughter… 

**~*~**

_A little girl watched Killua from her little bubble, a black whisp that took a form similar to hers floating around her shoulders. She turned to the black mob._

_“Nanika, is there any way we could help brother?” A voice echoed in her head, and she looked down sadly. “I want to help big brother…”_

_Nanika watched Alluka sadly, then back down at Killua who was currently whimpering in his sleep. He rarely had nightmares, but when he did, Alluka’s heart always ached. She knew the majority of them revolved around her death. She was glad that Nanika had been with her, or else she probably would have been somewhere else, reincarnated, maybe. But Nanika kept her soul on earth, even if no one but Nanika could see her._

_Now she could watch over her brother, even if she couldn’t do anything about his situation. She startled when he shot up in bed, head whipping around. He twitched, and gazed in Alluka’s direction, obviously confused._

_Alluka wanted to cry._

_Killue sensed her, she knew that, and it hurt so much that she couldn't reveal herself to her big brother and hug him, reassure him that she's ok and that nothing was his fault. But Nanika said she couldn't, that it was beyond her power._

_Alluka watched solemnly as Killua settled back in bed hesitantly, deciding whoever was looking at him wasn’t a threat, and went back to sleep. Alluka smiled when Nanika rumbled soothingly to comfort her, telling her that her comrades are working on it, and proceeded to dissolve the bubble, Alluka going along with it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!! i might not post in a while, and im sorry for that u-u
> 
> Join my [discord server](https://discord.gg/aTDP9wW)!


	7. School Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK!! AHJSFJ ENJOY THE CHAPTER <3

Killua didn’t expect to see Gon's locker covered in insults.

It _infuriated_ him, he didn’t deserve this, for whatever he did. He bets it was them just picking on someone nice, someone who probably wouldn't resort to violence. He wanted to teach them a lesson.

Gon sighed, pulled out a small packet of wipes from his pocket and quietly scrubbed the words off the metal, as if he _expected this_. Killua turned to the voice of someone calling Gon’s name.

“Hey! Gon _Freaks_ , smell anything disgusting today- oh wait, I forgot, you lived with your aunt!” The two boys next to him cackled, and Killua opened his mouth to reply, but Gon shook his head.

“You’ll only provoke them, Killua.” Killua scowled.

“I can’t let them insult both you _and_ Miss Mito!” He turned back to them ignoring Gon's pleading look, and flipped the trio off. “Hey fuckers! I bet your mama tucks you in at bed every night, since you’re obviously big babies! How ‘bout you go take your shit somewhere else!”

“Haaah!?” The boy with black hair walked up to him, poking Killua rudely on his chest, but Killua stood in place with his arms crossed. “What did you say, wimp?”

“Do you really want me to repe-”

“Killua. Stop, okay? Fighting won't make anything better.”

“No, Gon. They can’t-” Killua turned to look at Gon, and was a little surprised at Gon’s dark eyes.

Gon walked up to them, eyes a voidless pit. It reminded Killua a bit of himself as he killed. “You can insult me. You can injure me. **_But._ ** You will never. _Never._ Make fun of my Aunt.” Gon slowly emphasised each word, and the boy along with his friends clearly looked disturbed. They slowly mumbled and walked away, glancing back a couple of times.

Gon sighed, tense shoulders relaxing and eyes gaining color again. He looked guilty. 

“Gon…” Killua looked at Gon, and Gon chuckled.

“Sorry, they never used to insult Aunt Mito. Their insult was pretty lame, I just couldn’t let them think saying that about her was okay.” He opened his locker.

“We’ll share lockers until they find a free one for you. Our first class is Science. We are taking life science, basically just, details of our cells and their functions.”

“Okay,” Killua said, trying to scare away the approaching girl with a glare. She looked scared, so she stayed in place and started talking. 

“G-Gon? Who i-is he?” Killua raised an eyebrow at Gon.

“Oh, Noko! This is Killua! He’s new here. We became friends a while ago.” Killua’s glare softened, the girl kind of reminded him of Alluka. At the sight of Killua’s relaxed state, Noko smiled.

“I-I’m Noko! Thank you for sticking with Gon…” The bell rang, and she squeaked, “I have math!” and ran off.

“Well, we better get going, Kite is a bit lenient on me ‘cuz he knows what's happening, so we should be fine.” Killua nodded, holding his brand-new notebook at his side and walked hunched beside Gon, trying to come off as intimidating to anyone who approached. 

“Kite! I mean, Mr. Kite, sorry I’m late.” He stepped aside to show Killua. “This is Killua!”

“Kite seemingly scanned Killua from head to toe. “So, care to give us a little introduction?” As Gon took Killua's notebook, Killua walked up to the front of the class with his hands in his pocket.

“Ah, I’m Killua, Gon's friend… don’t try anything funny with him, because you’ll regret it, _I’m sure_ ,” Killua said casually, but the way his voice hit one octave lower was obvious. “And well, I guess that's it.”

“Ah, Killua, can I have your last name?” Kite looked at Killua expectantly.

“I don’t have one,” he answered sharply. Kite narrowed his eyes, but didn’t press further. From the distance, Gon tilted his head. Killua walked over and sat down on the empty seat beside him. Gon noted the smell of resentment that clung to Killua.

**~*~**

“ _Damn_ , that class was _boring_. I never knew learning about cells was so tiring.” Killua groaned loudly, throwing his head back. Gon laughed.

“Cells aren’t too bad! Killua just isn’t smart.” Gon ducked when Killua swatted at his head. 

“I don’t want to learn about what my cells do to help me take a shit! It's disgusting!” Gon snorted, giving Killua a sideways look.

“We didn’t learn _that,_ we only learned about the stem cells, bone, blood, muscle, ski-”

“Okay, okay, I _get_ it, I don’t need a briefing on what we just went over. Anyway, what class do we have next?”

Gon hummed, smiling softly. “We have a break, or snack I guess, since everyone eats during the break, it lasts for 10 minutes. Oh, thats right now. We have English after with Mr. Morel, he's really kind but strict, so the kids don’t mess with him a lot.” Killua nodded. “And, after English, um, we have office hours after that, which is basically just another phrase for study hall, but it mostly consists of students asking teachers for help or something like that.” Gon waved his hands vaguely. Then we have History with Beans-san, since he’s Japanese he prefers ‘san’ instead of ‘Mr.’. “We have lunch, that lasts for 45 minutes, people sometimes use this time for clubs. After lunch is our last class, character building, which is supposed to help the kids with manners and stuff, but Miss. Banana is too nice, so everyone takes advantage of that to use their devices. And well, yea, that's basically it.” Gon looked up at Killua.

Killua snorted. “Well, you gave a full-blown explanation right there, didn’t you.” Gon just smiled sheepishly, sticking out his tongue. 

“Well! I don’t really have anyone to talk to, everyone but Noko and two others try to annoy me, so I can’t really do this with anyone.”

“Two others?” 

“Yea! They look pissed whenever someone bullies me, and multiple times the blonde one would try to stop them. The taller one with glasses would always stop him, though… But well, sometimes they nod and smile at me when we pass ways. I would imagine they were in eleventh or twelfth grade. I don’t know their names, but I don’t want to approach them because that would attract attention to them…” Killua gave the ceiling a thoughtful look, as if it would give him all the answers. Gon made an excited sound. “Oh! There, look, Killua.” He gestured to two boys walking down the hall, who looked skeptically at Killua. They glanced at each other before walking towards the two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IJSHFSUIGRU ok so like im freaking out (a selected few know why) but like i might just be able to become an author. like. oml. just. kill me now. ok imma go die in peace (not rlly)
> 
> JOIN MY [SERVER](https://discord.gg/aTDP9wW) :'D


	8. About Each Other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok this is a short chapter-  
> its like, 700 words smh  
> but well i decided to at least give you guys this much, since im getting more time to write too, (i just had a whole hour to myself rn) im realizing a big part of not being able to write is also writers block smhhh  
> i have a new fic!! its really just, something i thought of this morning. judging by how i wrote like, 1300 words, im def on a dead end here, i just, idk how to get to the PLOT, ya know?  
> anyways, idk how long it will go on for, but i have high hopes for the new fic lmao. its called Children of Nature

“Hey,” the man with glasses began, “I’m Leorio, if you’re wondering, and well, we heard a rumor that this kid was your friend, so, well-”

“We wanted to apologise for not acting sooner and befriending you, but we both did not want to be dragged into the bullying,” the blond interrupted, eyes downcast. His friend nodded sheepishly. “After hearing the rumors, we felt shameful with our decision and decided to apologise, then see if you would be willing to become friends,” the blond said, looking at Leorio with a raised eyebrow when he slapped his arm.

“Uh- well- yea that's basically it. He’s Kurapika, by the way. And well, we are sorry for not trying to be friends before.” Leorio rubbed his neck nervously.

“It's okay!” Gon smiled widely, eyes gleaming with gratitude and excitement. He could smell their remorse, even from the blonde- Kurapika, he remembered. He seemed a bit formal, but it was obvious that he felt bad. “I’m just glad you didn’t pick on me, just nodding and smiling at me in the hallways helped me a lot, so really, I should be thanking you!” 

Leorio’s nervousness washed away and was replaced with mirth. Kurapika smiled softly, looking back up at Leorio when he was nudged, then said, “Well, we know we won't be able to meet up too much, since we are in the eleventh grade and our classes are completely different, but if we have the chance, we’ll make sure to mention it, okay?” Gon nodded at Kurapika. 

“Well, since we have break now, we can chat for a bit, and introduce ourselves, right?” Gon looked at them eagerly. They gave their consent, then began walking towards the lunchroom.

“So! You already know me, Gon, but you don’t know Killua yet!” Killua turned with a blank stare, scrutinizing Leorio and Kurapika quietly.

He shrugs, looking back in front of him. “There's not much to tell about me.” Gon pouted.

“Okay then, I’ll just have to introduce you. Killua is, well, Killua. He's really fast, can see in the dark, and he  _ hisses  _ when you annoy him, like a cat! Also, he may act nonchalant, but he's really a big so-”

“ _ Gon- _ ” Killua hissed, his face flushed red.

“See! Hissing! And I've seen how you acted with Mrs. Reed’s baby, and Noko, and just in general-”

“Gon, I swear to god,” he glared at Gon who stuck out his tongue. 

“Well, That's Killua, kind of. I don’t really know what to say about myself..?”

“Okay, so, Gon’s a complete crybaby, he  _ can’t _ watch any sad movie without bawling his eyes out.”

“Killua!” Killua just looked smug.

“He also acts like a dog, he's like, constantly excited about anything, and has no shame, and has these  _ weird _ puppy-dog eyes, not even Miss Mito can say no to. And then, on the rare occasions that she does manage to say no, he looks like a kicked puppy. It's comical, really.” At this point the two forgot why they were describing each other, just trying to annoy the other. They were interrupted by Kurapika’s laugh.

“You two are too funny, really. Well, I guess I should describe Leorio. He’s a kind person that has this complexion, as if he is constantly looking for a fight. He cares a lot, though. He also looks very much like an old man.” Leorio had been nodding along until Kurapika mentioned the last part, to which he let out a little yell of indignation.

“I’m not an old man! I’m 18!”

“Which is older than all of us, as you can see.”

“That doesn’t make me old,” Leorio crossed his arm, pointing his chin in the air. “Just you wait, when you guys are injured, I’ll be the only doctor in the vicinity, and you’ll be  _groveling_ at my feet asking for forgiv-!” Killua erupted into a boisterous laughter, Gon trying to cover his mouth while he snorted. Kurapika just rolled his eyes.

“Oh my god, I don’t even  _ know _ why that was funny, just, imagining that- oh god-” Killua snorted, wiping the tears that collected on the corner of his eyes. He took in a deep breath. “Well! We need to eat. Let's all  _ grovel _ at Leorio for his food, shall we?”


	9. Don't Leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :000 Whats this?? an update???
> 
> anyways
> 
> sorry for taking so long, i finally found out how to get where i wanted!!! i hope u enjoy this chapter, i literally, i deleted EVERYTHING i wrote over the span of a couple of fruitless months and just spouted this yesterday, edited it today, all that ramdom shiz
> 
> im amazing ikr (ง •_•)ง
> 
> but oh well i hope u enjoy this xDD plz tell me if anything doesnt make sense heh

As the days passed, Gon became happier, more excited to go to school. He would wake up as soon as Mito entered the room as if already awake instead of dragging himself out of bed as usual. He comes back every day, unscathed, excited to tell Mito about his day.

Mito would endlessly thank Killua. She knew she made the right choice when taking him in, he was like a blessing. Killua was glad that he could finally do something right.

Every day, Gon, Killua, Leorio, and Kurapika would meet up at the school’s steps. They spent however much time they could together. Killua was still a bit wary, since the bullies Gon told him about didn’t seem to make a move on him. Were they backing away now that people seemed to accept him?

Killua had always been a bit confused, he easily learned that the reason Gon was bullied was mainly because of his nose and poverty, but it couldn’t be the main reason, right? There had to be something else behind it, unless people were just _that_ shallow.

Killua sat in the bath, startling as he heard a knock on the door, instinctively flattening his ears to hide them.

“Killua? You’ve been taking a while now, are you okay,” Mito’s soft voice asked. Killua _had_ been in the bath for 30 minutes, he usually only takes 10.

“Ah, sorry, I just got lost in thought. I’ll be out in a second.” Killua heard a faint hum from the other side of the door as steps faded away. He sighed, stepping out and drying himself off. Once putting on his clothes, he cringed at the smell of his beanie. He should try to see if he can buy another one, so he can wash it.

He unplugged the drain and watched as the water drained and shouted, “Gon! I finished, you can come take yours now!” He heard Gon’s shout in response and smiled.

Gon came walking in with his own change of clothes and towel. He waved when Killua glanced back from making sure the tub was clean after rinsing it quickly. As Killua walked out, he saw Mito at the door, snatching the beanie off his head. Killua jumped in shock, thankful for his quick reflexes and long hair that covered where human ears would normally be. His ears instantly flattened and he gave Mito an incredulous look. She sniffed his beanie with a grimace.

“I knew it, it smells horrible! I’m going to wash this right now.”

“But-”

“No buts. I don’t even know how you can wear this…” Mito trailed off while walking down the stairs, throwing the hat in the hamper. Killua stared longingly at the hat, remembering that the sweater he was wearing had a hoodie, thank god. He put it over his head then walked into Gon’s room, taking their notebooks out to get started on their homework. He brought them to the living room where the shared computer was, bringing up the link to the podcast they had to listen to. This was going to be boring.

**~*~**

* * *

Killua was very reluctant to go to school today. He couldn’t wear his beanie, which was less likely to slip off than a hoodie was. What if Gon wanted to play rough, or if he wasn’t able to stop Leorio quickly enough from ruffling his hair, or maybe even the conceited and normally sassy but calm Kurapika just, he didn’t know, decided he didn’t like hoodies all of a sudden, and tried to take Killua’s off his head-

Killua’s train of thought was cut off when Gon let out a yelp of surprise, Killua finally snapping out of it only to bump into the electricity pole. He stood there, feeling a mild headache creeping into his head, but paid it no attention.

Gon snorted.

Killua rubbed his head, groaning dramatically as he suppressed a smile when Gon started laughing out loud. “K-Killua! Are you, okay!” Gon suppressed his laughter, shoulders shaking as his eyes danced with mirth. Killua pouted.

“I am very hurt, I will die, it’s the end, Gon! It was fun knowing you, but I’m afraid this is goodbye.” Killua fell back with an arm on his forehead, grinning when Gon repressed his laughs but failed when he snorted a couple of times.

“Killua- _snort_ \- s-seriously, we, we need to get to school.” He grabbed Killua’s arm and dragged him while laughing to himself. Killua walked a little faster so the tugging wasn’t uncomfortable. He noticed Kurapika looking at the two with a hand over his mouth, and Leorio starting with mild shock. He saw the small twitch in his lips as he too tried not to laugh out loud. Leorio turned his head into his arm as he started shaking with laughter.

“Hey Kurapika, old man,” Killua greeted, snickering when Leorio’s eyes switched from playful to angry.

“I’m not old! I only just turned 18, only three years older than you guys!”

“That’s not what your stubble says, but okay.”

“You brat-”

“Leorio, we are going to be late, it’s fine,” Kurapika interrupted, patting him on the back mockingly. Leorio scowled, relenting as he walked up the stairs.

**~*~**

* * *

Gon noticed Killua’s discomfort throughout the day. It stuck to him like a second skin, though the scent only started as a small occasional waft of discomfort. Now it was rolling in waves, and he watched as Killua rubbed his temples. He wondered if he had a headache from hitting his head earlier on that pole. He snorted at the memory. Killua looked at him questioningly.

“Ah, it’s nothing, just remembering this morning.” He watched Killua snort too, then continued, “Speaking of which, does Killua have a headache, or something? Killua has got this scent as if something is annoying him stuck to him.”

“Huh? Oh yea, I got a bit of a migraine, kinda annoying me since it’s making it harder to focus on the stupid math lesson. It’s all review for me anyways, so it's fine.”

“Really? This is so hard though, exponents are so confusing, especially the whole distributing thing with parentheses and no parentheses- and _scientific notation_ , ugh, we already did this in Chemistry but it’s _still_ so confusing, I don’t get it! And then there's-”

“Gon, I swear I can see the smoke coming from your ears, calm down.” Killua poked Gon’s temple while snickering, Gon was so stupid. The teacher, Knuckle, clapped his hands to get the classes attention.

“Alright! Break’s over! I need yall to pay attention to me!” a collective ‘okay’ signaled that he had everyone’s attention.

“Great, now we are going to go over dividing exponents, and keeping them positive…”

**~*~**

* * *

Killua sighed. It was the 23rd sigh since their earlier conversation during math- not that Gon was counting, or anything. He patted Killua’s back softly, and Killua just grunted. “Does Killua want to go to the principal?”

“The principal? Why would I go to her?”

“You could kind of think of her as the nurse, here. She might have some tylenol to give you.”

“Oh, uh, I don’t like pills.”

“Don’t worry! She has the liquid type too, so you can drink it.”

“Um… is it, pink, or red?”

“I think it’s red.” Gon said, mildly confused. Why would color matter?

“Then I can’t take it, the reason’s a bit weird, actually. It’s like, I can't drink it because of the color? Something in the pigment makes me react badly, kind of like an allergy.”

“That's… kinda weird, but cool at the same time.”

“I know right? And the best part is that I hate the color pink. It's so… _pink_.” Killua suddenly squints. “Hey Gon, isn’t, aren't those the guys that… bully you…” Killua scowled. The group was definitely looking at Gon, almost glaring. Gon flinched.

“Oh, yea. That's them,” he responded in a small voice, inching slightly behind Killua as they neared the school’s exit. Killua stood protectively in front of him.

“We warned you, Gon,” said one of them, with lilac-dyed hair, and dark purple eyes. He gave Killua a glance, before shaking his head. He pointed a finger at Gon while his hands were crossed across his chest. “Why would you even stick around with a kid like him? He’s so annoying, like a chatterbox, never stops talking. Not to mention he _pries_ into everyone’s privacy with that nose of his-”

“Hey, don’t think I’m just going to stand here and watch as you badmouth my friend, idiot,” Killua interrupted, a dark look on his face. “Why are you guys so annoyed? Acting like babies, picking on someone who didn’t do anything wrong-”

“ _Didn’t do anything wrong,”_ A blonde with hazel eyes screeched. “How dare you say that, this boy is nothing less than that of a slut! He is not a virgin at his age, and expects to be respected!”

Killua paused.

Gon shook a little.

“Gon, come on, I don’t know what these dolts are talking about-” he grabbed Gon’s hand as a girl with off-white hair stuck her tongue out mockingly.

Gon followed numbly behind Killua, staring at the ground until he stood rooted in place halfway back home. Killua stopped, turning back.

“What’s wrong, Gon-”

“You know, what they said, b-back there-”

“Gon, it’s fine, it’s not like I’m going to believe something like that anyway.” Killua patted Gon’s shoulder in an attempt of comfort. Gon shook his head.

“What they said… it’s… it’s not wrong.”

Killua blinked. _What?_

“What,” Killua voiced, obviously perplexed. Gon’s lips twitched downwards.

“I… I’m sorry, I’m disgusting. I was hoping I could tell you about this myself, but, well…”

“Hey, Gon, look at me,” Killua urged. It’s not like Killua didn’t do worse, but well, Gon didn’t know that. “ _Gon_ , I swear, I don’t think you are disgusting. Please, look at me?” Gon raised his head slowly, eyes hesitating before making contact with Killua’s own soft ones. His heart panged, before he started crying furiously. Killua pulled him in close for a hug, running his fingers through his hair comfortingly, similar to what he would do with Alluka. He smiled sadly.

“Gon,” Killua whispered, “You don’t have to yet, if you aren’t ready, but can you tell me what happened? I want to hear your side of the story.” He waited silently until he felt Gon nod against his shoulder. Gon pulled himself away, wiping at his eyes, before giving Killua a hesitant smile. They made their way back home, and Killua caught Gon’s whisper.

“Thank you, Killua… for not leaving me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :000
> 
> plot twist much???
> 
> tehe
> 
> every time i think of plot twists i think of lushi 🥺🥺
> 
> so well, feedback is appreciated im lonely and comments fuel my soul :'D
> 
> sayonara! _backflips into the dark continent_
> 
> _shouts from absolutely nowhere_
> 
> JOIN MY [DISCORD](https://discord.gg/aTDP9wW)!!! 
> 
> p.s. i totally didnt use my own lessons in this, nope  
> and the allergy thing is actually smth i have xD


	10. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUUUDEE  
> its another chapterrrr  
> i think, i think im going to say this, with a lot of uncertainty and a bit of confidence,  
> imma try to update every sunday, unless i update Children Of Nature :DD  
> so if some sunday i dont update, i probably updated Children of nature  
> omggggggggggggggggggggggg  
> im like, i finally know how to continue this, ITS SO EXCITINGGG AHHH  
> ALMOST FORGOT no descriptions of rape, but just mentions. also mentions of death :((

Gon sat down on the bed, fiddling with the hem of the shirt. He still was hesitant, opening his mouth every now and then only to close it.

“Hey, Gon…”

“Y-yea?”

“Would it, maybe, make you feel a bit better if I told you a secret of mine? I don’t know, it might help…”

“You don’t have to do that! Really, Killua doesn’t need to do that for me. It's fine!”

“It’s not about what I have to do, I want to do this, Gon.” Killua puts his hand on Gon’s shoulder. “Really, if it’s going to help, I will. I don’t mind.” _It’s the least I can do for you, even if it means talking about her._

“I… I think it would. I think so,” Gon mumbled. Killua smiled softly.

“Okay, take your time, alright? There's no rush.” Gon sighed.

“I’m ready now. I can do this.” Gon looked up at Killua, before his eyes glazed after, as if remembering something. “I… It’s true, I’m not a virgin. I… I actually didn’t tell Mito this, yet. I told one of my friends, but it just turned out he was with the gang and well, told them. I didn’t tell Mito because I don’t want her to worry about me… so just, make sure, make sure to keep this from her. I think part of what makes it hard is that the last time I told someone…”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Plus, as I said, you’ll have my own secret, you can use that against me if I ever _do_ say anything, which I won't. Not because you have a secret of mine but because you are my, my friend… So, don’t worry.”

“Killua’s really good at this,” Gon said, smiling. Killua sputtered, about to say something, but Gon continued, “I was raped, a year and a half before I went to school.” Killua’s mouth snapped shut, eyes wide. “I… there were these women, who would come here, looking for people to give them a tour of the nice places, and well, since I’m considered one of the brightest kids, along with a couple of others and some men, I would take some of these women on the tour. Not all of them were bad! Many were very kind, they would teach me things, like knitting, some tips in baking, taking care of kids, etcetera. But one of the women…” Gon grimaced. He took a shaky breath as his hand shook. “She, she took me to her hotel room, said she wanted to teach me something cool. This was before Mito gave me the talk about sex, so I had no idea what was happening. She, uh. She-” Gon shivered, covering his mouth when he remembered what she did. Tears gathered, and Killua was about to reach out for comfort but Gon flinched back.

“You don’t have to continue,” Killua said as he withdrew his hand. “I understand. Do you feel nauseous? Do you want some water?”

“N-no…” Gon looked for any hate in Killua’s odd brown eyes. They were weird, almost like something was covering them. He sighed once his thoughts trailed back to their conversation.

“Gon, hey, I don’t know why the _hell_ they called you a slut, because, what the fuck, _obviously_ you aren’t, and don’t think that I would hate or leave you because of something like this. I swear… Do you, do you want me to tell you mine now? Or do you want to take a break?”

Gon was thankful for the change of subject. He thought for a second. “I… I am a bit curious. I don’t know as much as I would like about Killua, and I want to know as much as possible!”

Killua sputtered for a second, pouting when Gon laughed, then gave a short sigh. “Okay… I, I have two options. One is more serious and… weird? I guess? And I don’t really want to talk about that one, at least, not yet. The other one is kinda gruesome, and still really serious, and sad, I guess. It’s hard for me to talk about, and well, now that I think about it, out of context it sounds very cruel- but well, I don’t, I don’t mind telling you, though I can’t promise the reason will make complete sense…”

“You can tell me the second one, I don’t want Killua to be uncomfortable!” Killua smiled, before biting his lip nervously.

“So, I have a couple of siblings. I live in a pretty strict family, who don’t like it when I slack off in work, or disrespect them, stuff like that. My brother is usually the one who keeps me in check. I don’t like my family, except for maybe my grandfather, since he takes my side sometimes- sorry, I’m rambling, uh.” Gon just hummed softly, rocking back and forth, listening intently. “Well. So, the only other family members I really love are my two younger sisters. My family doesn’t want to consider them as family, though. One of the reasons is because Alluka is biologically male, but, she feels more feminine, and I guess my family just thinks being trans is equivalent to being imperfect, which is really stupid.” Killua paused, unsure of how he was going to explain Nanika. Gon raised an eyebrow, and Killua continued. “I’m not sure how to explain my other sister, Nanika… so, don’t freak out, or anything. She… She's a spirit? Kind of? She doesn’t exactly have a _body_ , you can kind of think of it as like, um. She possesses Alluka, but, with Alluka’s consent, and it’s not exactly _possessing_ , it's more like… residing in Alluka.”

“Okay… and, is this the other reason your family doesn’t accept her?”

“Yeah… um. This, this is going to be a bit confusing from now. Okay, uh. Well. God, this is really hard to say now that I’m actually saying it.” Gon giggled, and Killua laughed nervously.

“I… My sister, Alluka. My brother- he-” Killua sniffles a little. “He said Alluka was a nuisance. That she was distracting me, and because of her I was… the quality of my work was dropping. He- w-with consent from m-my father…” Killua trailed off, tears streaming down his face, and Gon could smell the absolute defeat and sadness on Killua. He connected the dots.

“They- what! Isn’t that, that’s, they, _what!?_ ” Gon was dumbfounded. Okay, sure, it would make sense to punish Killua, since apparently he wasn’t working hard, but _killing_ his sister? “What the heck?”

“Yeah… Thats why, I said, it wouldn’t really make sense… There's a bit more, though.” Gon took in a deep breath, and nodded signaling he was ready. “Well, they didn’t know how to kill Nanika. Nanika, as far as she would tell me, is able to keep in contact with Alluka’s soul. She says she has more friends like her, who might be able to link us together, so I can still talk to her, but well, I haven’t really heard anything from her. Ever since Alluka… yea, she um, she kinda took some sort of black misty form of her. She sometimes comes out if I ask, or randomly to fill in on her progress. I’m not sure if she’s here right now…” Gon stared at the pastel green bed-sheets, thinking, brows furrowed.

“Okay… I’m still a bit stuck on what your family did. I just- gosh… Can you try to call Nanika out right now? I wanna meet her.”

“Okay, give me a second.” Killua closed his eyes, blocking out his surroundings. He hadn’t done this in a while, he hoped Nanika wouldn’t be too shy to come out in front of Gon. _Nanika, you there? Think you can come out? I want to introduce you to someone._ Killua stayed silent for a second. Another minute passed, and Killua stilled when his skin went cold…  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was it a cold breeze? was it just killua being nervous??? is it nanika??????????????????  
> tehe  
> gosh pasting the chapter in ao3 makes it look so tiny wth  
> anyway  
> im already like, a tinsy bit less than halfway through the next chapter, like, 2 pages, so well, i think you can look forward to an update next week :DD  
> see you then!!
> 
> [Join my discord!!](https://discord.gg/aTDP9wW)


	11. Well Sh*t

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one when Alluka visits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY i actually updated, insane, right?? i think i can do this  
> JHUDUYSGF  
> anyway  
>  _ **IMPORTANT: When Nanika speaks, if her speech has quotations that means she is actually speaking out loud. If it is only italicized without quotations she’s speaking to JUST Killua. If Killua’s thought’s are italicized and in quotations, it means he is speaking only to Nanika. Just think of it as telepathy :D**_

A familiar  _ Ai  _ reverberated in his head before a cold breeze entered the room, and Nanika appeared, wrapped around Killua in a hug.

“ _ Killua! Pat my head? _ ” Killua smiled softly, heart tugging. He patted her head, hearing her content hum. “ _ I love Killua~ _ ” She looked up and smiled. She then pulled away, regarding Gon quickly before asking, “ _ Your Friend? _ ”

“Yeah, this is Gon. Gon, this is Nanika.” Killua watched Gon nervously, squinting when there was a finger in his eye.

_ Brown eyes, _ Nanika stated in her head, and Killua blinked.

_ “Oh, I’m covering my eyes for now. Can’t have Gon knowing I’m a Neko. Don’t mention it, okay? I plan on telling him soon enough.” _

_ Kay _ . Nanika looked at Gon shyly.  _ “I am Nanika. Hello, Gon,”  _ Nanika smiled meekly. Killua was relieved to see Gon’s shocked face morph into a wide grin. He should have known, Gon isn’t exactly one to judge.

“Hey, Nanika! It’s nice to meet you!” Nanika smiled at his enthusiastic energy. Nanika was a shy soul, but eager to make friends. She warms up to people easily enough, if they are nice. Gon was the perfect person to befriend. Nanika floated to Gon, wrapping wispy arms around his frame, and Gon gave a soft smile. “She reminds me a bit of Noko…” He hugged her softly, imitating Killua and patting her head. Killua was giddy, seeing some of his favorite people together. Now if only Alluka were here to complete the picture…

_ Alluka… _

“Nanika? How’s Alluka doing?”

Nanika turns to face Killua, thoughtful before saying,  _ “Alluka misses you. She says she loves you. Do you want me to call her?” _

Killua thought for a second. He nodded silently, and Nanika took a second to call Alluka. Nanika smiled when a bright pink orb flew down and phased through the ceiling. She reached her hands out, cupping the fire-resembling circle. _ “Sister.” _

Killua perked up. “She’s here? Can she see me?”

_ “She needs a second.” _ Nanika started to say something, but Gon cut in.

“Wait- that pink thing? That’s Alluka?” Gon pointed to Nanika’s hands, and Killua choked on air. He stared wide-eyed at Gon.

“You can see her!? And why are you saying that as if you have seen her before?”

“I see her sometimes, hovering beside you… I’ve actually seen it with some people, these weird orb things… I didn’t know what they were, though. I asked Auntie at some point, but she just looked at me weirdly…

Killua blinked in surprise. Nanika smiles and says,  _ “They are dead souls checking up on their loved ones.” _ Gon made an ‘o’ with his mouth, and Killua felt another pang in his heart, eyes stinging. Alluka was following him?  _ “Alluka says not to worry about her.” _ Killua nods slowly. Gon suddenly grins.

“Can she hear us yet? Will she be able to talk?” Nanika nodded, holding out Alluka as the orb lit up brighter when Alluka spoke.

“Hey Gon!” Gon made a noise of surprise.

“I didn’t know I could talk to them- oh, hi Alluka! You sure do care about your brother, don’t you.”

“Big brother always put mine and Nanika’s happiness first. I just wish I could’ve been there for him.” Alluka’s soul dimmed a little, and Gon panicked.

“It’s okay, Alluka! I’m sure that you being there for him helped plenty!”

“Is, is she okay? Did something happen,” Killua asked, obviously confused and concerned.

Gon repeated what Alluka had just said as a frown settled down on Killua’s face. “She can hear me, right?”

_ “Yes.” _

“Then, Alluka, what Gon said is right, just knowing that at the end of the week I would be able to see you two made me happy enough… It’s fine- yeah. I’m fine, okay?” Gon noted that Killua seemed very uncertain, and if anything, it sounded like he was trying to convince himself that instead of Alluka. Gon watched as Killua’s lips trembled a bit. A shuddering sigh left his mouth before he gave a warm smile towards Nanika. “I think… I’m a little tired, I’m going to try to sleep. Please, tell me when you get any progress? Or if he comes close?”

_ “Kay. I love you, Killua.” _ Killua took a shuddering breath as he smiled softly.

“Love you too, Alluka, Nanika. Take care of yourselves, okay?”

Gon watched as Nanika dissipated, and Alluka floated away, not before circling around Killua as if hugging him. Killua sighed.

“That went a little… differently than I had expected,” Killua said, and Gon snorted.

“Yeah, I was really anxious about telling you what happened, but now i'm just sleepy.”

“Homework can wait! I’m tired as fuck and my eyes demand sleep. Immediately. I’m going to close my eyes, and I expect to be woken up  _ tomorrow _ .”

Gon giggled. “Killua! Language!” Gon slapped his arm playfully when Killua grunted. “I’m going to tell Aunt Mito that we are turning in early.” Gon left to do just that, and Killua smiled, thoughts momentarily drifting towards Illumi.

_ Fuck Illumi. I’m happy here. And I’m sure Nanika will tell me if he even comes near. _

**~*~**

The next couple of days went by, with some nagging from Meruem's group, or as Killua liked to put it, ‘ _ The Bug Shit Quadruplets. _ ’ Something that never failed to make Kurapika snort.

Killua was now certain that his favorite teacher was melody, who taught Music. She was a very kind person with a soft voice that was a comfort. Though Killua could never get sick of Gon’s excited energy, having a class that was soft and slow was calming. He was always eager for her class.

The only downfall was that, everytime he had her class,  _ gym _ was directly after, which meant…

“Come on, everyone! Get those heart rates up! Those bodies aren’t going to sweat themselves!”

Biscuit Krueger was the epitome of Killua’s headaches.

It wasn’t like gym class was  _ hard _ , this was easy, compared to what he was put through. Her constant yelling and insisting that they push their limits was annoying, and it was a little agitating to see her just standing there, watching everyone sweat their butts off while she just blew her whistle at them.

“Killua! I know you can do better than that!” Killua groaned internally as she approached him. He was in a plank position, and in his opinion, he was doing perfect. Bisky pushed his back down a little and lifted his chin up, making him face forward. “Posture is important! You need to feel the ache in your lower stomach, or else you are doing it wrong!”

Yeah, gym class  _ sucks _ .

But being able to spend more time with Gon was worth it, Killua reasoned. He could even tease Gon when he seemed a little winded, or if he wasn’t doing the exercises correctly.

All was well. Until Killua got a little too comfortable and forgot that he very much was a Neko, and that he had to keep his hoodie on, even in his and Gon’s shared bedroom, lest Gon find out.

_ Well shit,  _ Killua thinks, when he hears Gon’s next words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEY i hope u enjoyed :DD tehe
> 
> Okay so for those of you who actually read my other fic birthday discord i'm like, constantly just staring at the document for hours no exaggerating i swear everything i write is blekh. It's not writer's block. Just like, i took the story into a direction i didn't mean to take it in and now i don't know how to continue it- MITO WASN’T EVEN SUPPOSED TO FIND OUT HAHHSDUWGDYF I JUST REALLY LOVE MAMA MITO COMFORTING KILLUA MMMM kill me now  
> Okay so. Yeah. dont expect an update too soon cuz im currently still trying to figure out how to get out what i want without making mito sound cliche or stupid r smth like that :\\\  
> THANK YOU FOR BEARING WITH ME idk how u do it srsly.
> 
> [Join my Discord!!](https://discord.gg/aTDP9wW)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So funny story
> 
> I got grounded
> 
> hehe
> 
> I'm not even supposed to be here but i didnt wanna leave yall hanging so HERE I AM IMMA POST THEN LEAVEE HSHUYGSATFD

“...Are those… cat ears..?” Killua stiffened. His ears subconsciously twitched in his nervousness. He wasn’t exactly… opposed to Gon finding out anymore. He knew he could trust him. If he couldn’t… then well, Killua didn’t really care. Sure, he would feel betrayed… but even then his time with Gon was the best ever. He wouldn’t be able to bring himself to regret it.

“Uh…” How does one casually say he’s actually part cat?  _ Killua _ didn’t know. This didn’t happen much- or ever, really. “...Yeah? I, I’m sorry, this is just. Uh. I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while, but-”

“Do you have a tail?”

“I neve- huh?”

“ _ Do you have a tail? _ ” Gon’s eyes sparkled, hands held eagerly in front of him, and Killua stared a little before nodding hesitantly. Gon looked about to lose himself. He threw his hands up at the ceiling in exasperation and looked up at the ceiling as if it would solve all his problems. He then looked back at Killua. “And  _ why _ didn’t I know about this!? You are- you are a  _ cat _ . That's- thats big news, oh my gosh-  _ Ohmygoshdoyoupurr ohhhh I wanna hear it I bet it's adorable like an actual cats _ -'' Gon continues to murmur to himself when Killua squints. He didn’t expect  _ that _ to happen… “Can I see?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess. It’s just a tail though-”

“You are a cat, Killua. This, you are just- MMM I can’t believe this. I had a literal cat as a best friend. This is so cool! Killua is so cool!” Killua sputtered. When Gon urged him, he reached around his waist to tug his tail out. Gon gasped.

Killua stared at Gon who just stared back in awe and repressed excitement. He obviously wasn’t doing a very good job of keeping his apparent excitement held in when he ran up to Killua and poked at his tail. It flicked a little nervously. Even if Killua didn’t mind, he didn’t want Gon to look at him differently. Gon then glanced up at his ears again, frowning a little.

“Your ears… they are scarred?”

“Wha- oh, that. Um, I had a weird nervous habit of picking at them when I was little, and since I didn’t know how to control my claws back then, I would end up scratching myself.” Smooth, Killua. Gon made a little ‘o’ with his mouth, immediately requesting that Killua show him his nails. Killua, with a little discomfort since he hadn’t done it in a while, tensed the muscles in his hand and his nails instantly sharpened, veins popping. Gon reached to poke one, but Killua quickly pulled his hand back and withdrew his claws. “Idiot! You might hurt yourself. My hands aren’t  _ toys _ .”

“Sorry! Sorry…” Gon squinted thoughtfully at Killua’s eyes, and tilted his head. “Hey, Killua, I’ve been meaning to ask, but, do you wear eye contacts? Your eyes always seemed a bit weird.”

“Oh! Um, yeah, I do, my eyes look like a cats and reflect light at night so I can see, I wear them so no one notices…” Killua reached for his eyes and carefully removed the contacts, blinking rapidly before he looked at Gon. Gon gasped.

“Your eyes are so pretty! The blue fits you so much better.” Gon grinned when Killua slapped his arm, a shy blush forming on his face as he mumbled something under his breath. Gon laughed a little and looked at Killua, taking him in.

“Killua’s really amazing-” Gon was shut up with a girly squeal and a pillow to his face.

**~*~**

* * *

As the two worked on their math homework, Gon grew frustrated.

“I don’t get this whole thing. You take away the variables, then multiply the first number with the one subtracted from  _ x _ , then what?”

“You add that to the next number and repeat the process.”

“Why can't we just use long division? This is so confusing.”

“Maybe if your thick skull could just take in information, you would realize that synthetic division is much easier than it looks. Plus, this method is so much faster.”

“What do we do when we finish multiplying and adding?”

“Okay… look, it’s asking you to divide  _ 2x^3-x^2-13x+1 by x-3 _ .”

“Yeah…”

“Okay, so you write out the numbers next to each other without the variables like this, and draw a line under it. Then you take the two down under the line, and multiply that with the three from the  _ x-3 _ . You get six, so you take that six and write it under the negative one, but not under the line-”

“Wait, where did you get the negative one from?”

“The  _ x _ is negative, which just means it's being multiplied by a negative one, Gon. I told you this a thousand times!”

“Right, sorry. I forgot. Hehe…”

“Yeah whatever. If you ask me again I’m not telling you. Anyways, continuing with the problem, you add six and negative one which is basically subtracting, and you get five. You put the five under the line, multiply that by three, add it with the negative 13, get two, write that under the line, multiply that by three then add one, you get seven as the last number. So now with the results, you take the variables and basically add it back into the results that you got under the line. So the seven, your last number, is the remainder, which you write as  _ 7/x-3 _ . The two takes the place of the one, so there is no variable next to it. The five takes place of the negative 13, so it's  _ 5x _ , then the two takes place of the negative  _ x _ squared, so it’s  _ 2x^2 _ . So the result is  _ 2x^2+5x+2+7/x-3 _ .”

“Oh, oh it makes  _ so _ much more sense when you explain it. I think I got it now! Thank you Killua!”

“Yeah, just don’t forget it, that was a pain to explain.”

“Mr. Knuckle doesn’t make any sense… he talks too fast and is too wordy!”

“...Or you are just an idiot.”

“Killua!” Killua giggles at the exclamation of his name flicking Gon’s head. Gon pouts, but Killua can easily see the mirth in his eyes. They heard Mito yell from downstairs that they are making too much of a ruckus. They immediately shut up, stared at each other, then burst out in laughter a couple of seconds after. Gon sighed happily, watching Killua, relaxed and happy, and suddenly Gon pulled Killua into a hug, a warm buzz in his chest. He buried his face into Killua’s neck, and Killua stiffened a little, before wrapping hesitant arms around Gon.

“Thank you, Killua. Really… I’m really glad you stayed here with me, I’m so happy I met you…” Killua took in a deep breath, a knot forming in his throat as he exhaled shakily. He was so happy,  _ so happy _ , but years of emotional and physical abuse doesn’t just go away like that. Years of killing people won't just go by overlooked.

So of course, despite everything, Killua still finds himself scared. He's scared of having to let this happiness go someday. He knows it's inevitable. It’s the least he could do. He deserves it, after all. So Killua cherishes this hug, once hesitant arms wrapping around more securely around his best friend as he pulled him close.  _ Gon, meeting you is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Thank  _ you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> totally didnt give yall a math lesson

**Author's Note:**

> This is like, an into of some sorts, so. its short ik xD  
> id like to hear feedback!! anything that you think could be revised of improved throughout the story, even just a kudos is appreciated (´∀｀)♡  
> check out my discord server!! ive finally found out how to make the bots do all that snazzy stuff i see in other servers so im pretty proud of myself LOL  
> https://discord.gg/aTDP9wW


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